Well as the title suggests really but I can hardly expect the little guy to be in a routine yet. On Sunday night he woke every 2 hours or so for a feed but last night he decided that 1am was the time to have some awake time so I was awake for 2 hours in the night with him, gutted. Max is more alert now so I'm attempting to create mood lighting etc... so that he recognises when it is wake time and when it is sleep time. I have touch lamps in the bedroom and put them on the lowest setting in the night while feeding so he starts to recognise the night and day process. I'm sure he'll get it soon but at just over 2 weeks old I can't expect a miracle.
I am so glad that the hubby (who is currently wallpapering the hall) had 3 weeks off work though to get me through the first difficult stage he is one in a million and takes my not so occasional snapping at him in the night all in his stride. He is absolutely amazing and worth his weight in gold.
All this has made us think though and I can't believe we forgot how stressful this can all be from the first time around. When I was younger I always wanted more than 2 children, usually between 4 & 6. Hubby already had 2 from a previous relationship when we met (he had the children very young, when he was 18 and 20) and was adamant he didn't want any more. Me being the stubborn girl I am I carried on the relationship as we were so in love and in the hope I may bring him round. Fast forward 4 years from the day we had our first date and we got married and started trying for a child within a couple of months - 1 year and 1 month after we were married little Oliver arrived after a very difficult pregnancy (that's a story for another day). Those first few weeks were some of the most difficult of my life as Oliver had trouble feeding and sleeping.
How we forget as we decided when he was under a year old that we wanted a little bro or sis for him. At this point the amount of children I wanted had dipped to 3. Unfortunately one of the worst things that could happen happened. I had an ectopic pregnancy (which I blame on the mini pill I had been taking before coming off it to try again) which resulted in the loss of my tube and in my mind the chance of Oliver ever having a sibling. Now, I can never claim I have been depressed but those were some dark days and I cried, a lot, for a month - grieving for the child I lost and the future children I would never have. Desperate wasn't the word, I really didn't want Oliver to be an only child, the thought of it was heartbreaking as I know how much my dad is an isolated person which he thinks is down to not having a sibling and I feel somewhat the same as there is nearly 7 years between my sis and I. The ectopic happened in the November 2010, we started trying again in Feb 2011 and was lucky to conceive in June 2011. I was convinced something really bad was going to happen and I am only just over that fear now to be honest.
Please excuse the digression but what I was getting at is that I wanted 4-6 when I was younger, then it went to 3 and I was then just wanting one more little one so desperately. During the pregnancy it went back up to 3 however these first couple of newborn weeks got hubby and I talking this morning where he admitted he is not sure he can do it again and I tend to agree however there is this niggle in the back of my mind that says there is room in my heart and my home for one more and we'll probably forget again how hard it is those first few weeks.
I have not been abroad for over 3 years now though so I NEED A HOLIDAY FIRST! It'll be a while though, not easy to save for a holiday with 2 little ones to bring up. Not asking for much, a 1 week all inclusive holiday in the Canaries with the kids would be awesome. Fingers crossed. Please feel free to buy me a holiday if you are reading this!
Got to go its nappy change and feeding time.
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