First day on my own

I'm apprehensive today, obviously I've done this before but Mike went back to work today after 3 weeks at home with baby Max and I. Oliver is at nursery full time still but goes to part time in May which is even scarier as it means 2 kids under 5 to look after all on my own. I know other mums do that and more however I have never done it before so it'll be new for me.

I'm sat here blogging at the moment but only doing this in the few mins I get between breastfeeding, nappy changing, entertaining Max and cleaning. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all, I love my little family and I'd rather be here than anywhere else in the world but its a scary time.

Took Max to work last week for everyone one to meet him. It was like a production line and there was literally a queue to hold him! Everyone loved him though and he didn't mind the attention so it went well. I then when to register him so he now officially exists!

On another completely unrelated note we've had some travellers pitch up at the end of the road on the green. Hubby and I had been left the house for 2 hours and when we got back there were about 10 caravans. Hubby thought I'd go mental but after watching that Big Fat Gypsy Weddings I've mellowed on them somewhat and most of them are nice, we just don't understand their way of life. Its likely they are only stopping off for the night or a couple of days as we are just off a main road on the way to a motorway and I can't imagine as they literally are next to a dual carriage way that they'll want to stay there long anyway so I'm cool with it. Whats funnier is that they are opposite the police station, the cheek, hehe. Where do they get their water from though and empty their toilets? Some questions are best left unasked!

Max is calling for a feed so catch you later and FYI, weigh in is today, not holding out much hope as cheated a couple of times, oops!

Easter and diet

Poorly sick Easter Sunday, stayed in my jimmie jams all day :-(   Nauseous in a way that if I stood up or bent over it made me sick. So Easter was suspended until Monday.

Monday was lovely though.  I did an Easter egg hunt for Oliver with a Cars 2 prize of a large 'Mater' car. He found them with Daddy after about 20 mins and was so excited with his prize so that was lovely. He ate way more chocolate that I would normally allow but its one day a year so I tried not to have a coronary.

There is now loads of choc in the fridge which at the rate I allow him to eat it on normal days he'll still be eating it next Easter. We only bought him a tiny Thomas the Tank Engine egg but other people bought him normal and large eggs so he has more than enough choc to get through, problem is, he knows its there.

Now me - are you wondering how much weight I lost this week? Well I can't really believe it myself and somehow think it may be wrong but I lost 8lb! Thats 20lb gone since I had Max 2 weeks ago and I am very happy about it. Diet is going really well though due to meal planning and with the extra breastfeeding boost.  Tried on a pair of jeans from when before I was pregnant and they actually do up, can't sit down in them though but in a couple of weeks time looks like I might be back in my old clothes and hopefully not for long and they'll be to big for me soon!

Wish me luck

A couple of rough nights over Easter

Well as the title suggests really but I can hardly expect the little guy to be in a routine yet.  On Sunday night he woke every 2 hours or so for a feed but last night he decided that 1am was the time to have some awake time so I was awake for 2 hours in the night with him, gutted. Max is more alert now so I'm attempting to create mood lighting etc... so that he recognises when it is wake time and when it is sleep time. I have touch lamps in the bedroom and put them on the lowest setting in the night while feeding so he starts to recognise the night and day process. I'm sure he'll get it soon but at just over 2 weeks old I can't expect a miracle.

I am so glad that the hubby (who is currently wallpapering the hall) had 3 weeks off work though to get me through the first difficult stage he is one in a million and takes my not so occasional snapping at him in the night all in his stride. He is absolutely amazing and worth his weight in gold.

All this has made us think though and I can't believe we forgot how stressful this can all be from the first time around. When I was younger I always wanted more than 2 children, usually between 4 & 6. Hubby already had 2 from a previous relationship when we met (he had the children very young, when he was 18 and 20) and was adamant he didn't want any more. Me being the stubborn girl I am I carried on the relationship as we were so in love and in the hope I may bring him round. Fast forward 4 years from the day we had our first date and we got married and started trying for a child within a couple of months - 1 year and 1 month after we were married little Oliver arrived after a very difficult pregnancy (that's a story for another day). Those first few weeks were some of the most difficult of my life as Oliver had trouble feeding and sleeping.

How we forget as we decided when he was under a year old that we wanted a little bro or sis for him. At this point the amount of children I wanted had dipped to 3. Unfortunately one of the worst things that could happen happened. I had an ectopic pregnancy (which I blame on the mini pill I had been taking before coming off it to try again) which resulted in the loss of my tube and in my mind the chance of Oliver ever having a sibling. Now, I can never claim I have been depressed but those were some dark days and I cried, a lot, for a month - grieving for the child I lost and the future children I would never have. Desperate wasn't the word, I really didn't want Oliver to be an only child, the thought of it was heartbreaking as I know how much my dad is an isolated person which he thinks is down to not having a sibling and I feel somewhat the same as there is nearly 7 years between my sis and I. The ectopic happened in the November 2010, we started trying again in Feb 2011 and was lucky to conceive in June 2011. I was convinced something really bad was going to happen and I am only just over that fear now to be honest.

Please excuse the digression but what I was getting at is that I wanted 4-6 when I was younger, then it went to 3 and I was then just wanting one more little one so desperately.  During the pregnancy it went back up to 3 however these first couple of newborn weeks got hubby and I talking this morning where he admitted he is not sure he can do it again and I tend to agree however there is this niggle in the back of my mind that says there is room in my heart and my home for one more and we'll probably forget again how hard it is those first few weeks.

I have not been abroad for over 3 years now though so I NEED A HOLIDAY FIRST! It'll be a while though, not easy to save for a holiday with 2 little ones to bring up. Not asking for much, a 1 week all inclusive holiday in the Canaries with the kids would be awesome. Fingers crossed. Please feel free to buy me a holiday if you are reading this!

Got to go its nappy change and feeding time.

Sleeping/weight loss

I think we must have the best baby in the world! Like I said previously his sleeping is brilliant for a breastfed baby. Admittedly on Tuesday and Wednesday he was up every 2 hours however last night he only woke twice. We put him down at 10:30 and he woke at 1.30 and 4.30 then hubby got up with him and Oliver at 7.30.

Why didn't I get up might you ask? Well today is the day my body has decided I am going to be poorly. Went to bed last night absolutely freezing and woke at 4.30 sweating like hell and I can hardly keep my eyes open and I have a nasty taste in my mouth, great!

This is the type of thing that makes me worry what the hell am I going to do when hubby goes back to work and Oliver is only at nursery in the afternoons. Ahhh. I'll cope because I'll have to. No complaints really though as I'm not back at work until January, whoop!

I'm sure you'll be happy to know that we got over the breastfeeding hurdle in my left breast however yesterday it started to feel bruised all underneath so I am guessing its a blocked milk duct, its eased off now though so hopefully that'll be the end of that.  MW said to me last week that she would like me to attend a group where there are pregnant women and talk about the benefits of BF. I am by no means a public speaker but I have tentatively agreed but more than anything I feel flattered that I may be seen as a role model.

Well the second I left the hospital I decided I have weight to lose, of course so we started well, not. We had either 3 or 4 takeaways in that first week. I would like to blame it on how busy and tired we were but thats just a lie, we were just plain lazy. I still lost 12lb though (I know, jammy sod right!).

This week is going a whole lot better. We had treat night on Monday as usual and we (well hubby) has been cooking nutritious low kcal meals every day. I'll track my progress for those of you that are interested on the right of this blog.

Baby Max

I did it!

I'd like to introduce Max Walter into the world.

Went into hospital on 25/03/12 to be induced and was lucky enough to be assigned the Midwife that was my community midwife with Oliver so nice to see have a familiar face around.

I was examined at 9am and it turned out I was already 3cms (no contractions though) so they decided the best thing was to break my waters. MW tried to do it 3 times, no luck so a senior midwife tried and again, no joy. I was told to give it an hour to see if I start contracting and come back. By this point as I was being played around with so much I was contracting every 7 mins also already but they were not for very long or painful.

Dr came to see me at 1pm and also tried to break my waters, she couldn't be sure if she'd done it and told me she'll be putting me on the hormone drip. MW asked if it could be delayed for 30 mins while I had my dinner which the Dr agreed to - once Dr left MW said that she wanted to give me more time as the extra stuff going on down there it may have pushed me along. Boy she wasn't wrong, within 10 mins of the Dr leaving I was contracting every 4-5 mins and was on the gas and air. I went for a walk and came back as was contracting every 3 mins.

I was taken to the pool room around 5pm but was in a lot of pain and MW said that if I got in the pool I may not be able to get out so would deliver in there. Not sure why looking back but I chose not to get in the pool and went back to my room. After about 30 mins I was in so much pain that I demanded an epidural but the anaesthetist was in theatre at a C-section. I was dead against diamorphine but I agreed to it as I was in so much pain but I was then told the anaesthetist was on his way.

He turned up at about 6:10 and by this time I was pretty out of it with pain to be honest, apparently I wasn't being very nice and they couldn't get the needles in etc... They got my back cleaned for the needle just as I screamed that I needed to poo! At that point the MW somehow got me back on the bed much to the annoyance of the anaesthetist and she said she could see the head. I honestly wanted to die at this point as I am no good with pain but was being told to push. After about 10 mins they pressed 'the red button' and another MW came in. They turned me onto my left side and within 5 more pushes little Max was born with no other pain relief than Gas and Air!

Baby Max Walter was born at 18:47 weighing 7lb 11oz and he was worth all the pain. He latched on straight away so breast feeding is going well or so I thought...

A few days after I posted this birth story on a baby website I frequent, my left nipple started to really hurt. I've tried the standard bf and the football hold but to no avail so giving that side a rest today however it just happens to be the booby that produces the most so I am more or less expressing every hour from it to stop it leaking. Which isn't working by the way and I have gone through 3 breast pads already today!

I am not giving up though, stuff the benefits of cost the benefit to our baby is immense so I wouldn't care if my nipples dropped off, I'd still bf.

On another note I think we may have the best baby ever. He is sleeping really well, he feeds around every 2 hours except between 12 & 4 where he gives me a interrupted 4 hour rest, how great is that? Hoping he'll sleep through in a few months but I can't really complain a I am getting between 6-8 hours per night still.

I may not be able to post as often while we get into a routine, hope you like the pic.